When your partner has PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder), it can deeply affect your relationship—but your support can make a real difference. However, some well-meaning actions can actually be unhelpful or harmful. Here are five things not to do:
1. Don’t Pressure Them to “Just Get Over It”
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PTSD is a mental health condition, not a choice or weakness.
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Pushing them to “move on” or comparing their trauma to others can invalidate their experience and cause more distress.
2. Don’t Take Their Symptoms Personally
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Mood swings, emotional withdrawal, or irritability are common symptoms of PTSD and usually not about you.
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Reacting with hurt or anger may escalate their stress or guilt.
3. Don’t Force Them to Talk About the Trauma
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Encouraging openness is okay, but pressing for details can re-traumatize them.
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Let them decide when, what, and how much they want to share.
4. Don’t Try to “Fix” Them Alone
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You’re a partner, not a therapist. Trying to be their sole support system can backfire.
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Encourage professional help instead of taking full responsibility for their healing.
5. Don’t Ignore Your Own Needs
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Neglecting your emotional health can lead to burnout and resentment.
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Set boundaries and seek support for yourself—therapy, support groups, or trusted friends.
Dr. Payne helps people cope with a wide range of challenges, including anxiety, depression, trauma, relationship issues, and life transitions. Contact Dr. Payne today at (213) 761-8555 to schedule a no-cost 15-minute consultation. She is verified on Psychology Today.